No, sadly Dr. D. and I are not planning an upcoming trip to Europe. The title references a line from a romantic classic - "When Harry Met Sally." Meg Ryan's character is lamenting that she and her former boyfriend had talked about all the wonderful things they could do as a result on their unmarried and childless lifestyle (fly away to Rome on whenever they wanted, have sex on the kitchen floor, etc.), but that they had never done any of those things.
Dr. D is always talking about the choice we made not to have children, and how we need to enjoy that freedom to the fullest. "Flying to Rome on a moment's notice" has always been the phrase we utilize when trying to motivate ourselves to be spontaneous and take life by the balls. But the truth is, although we don't have children, we still have responsibilities, and reality and practicality always seems to dictate. It's really expensive to take a last-minute flight - we live in a mid-sized city, not a major hub. We have two dogs that would have to be kenneled. And there's our jobs. Dr. D can't just tell his nurse to completely cancel his appointments for the next few days at the last minute. Well, he could, but he's not big of an a-hole. Thus, sadly, vacations have to be planned in advance.
Unfortunately, even when you try to plan ahead, those ole nemeses to fun (see above) get in the way. Last week, we were discussing our upcoming (Feb 2015) 20th anniversary. Dr. D suggested a fun beach getaway - someplace in the Caribbean. So I promptly started looking at airfare and accommodations. Sticker-shock ensued. It's the high season for that region, even airfare wasn't cheap either. I started rationalizing that we have been putting off house maintenance and renovations to save money, so how could we justify spending $5,000-$7,500 on a week-long vacation. That's the cost of a Sub-Zero refrigerator! Have I mentioned that our fridge is very old, and our kitchen requires a major overhaul? We were just too broke to go ahead with those renovations back when we did the others. So our pie-in-the-sky anniversary plans are melting quicker than a pina colada at the beach. Looks like it may be just a small dinner/party with friends, which could be nice too, I guess.
However, there are small things we can do to give us a momentary respite from the everyday rut of marriage and life. For example, last night, we attempted to shake things up and went to the local "craft cocktail" bar/speakeasy on a Tuesday night....because, you know, we could. (It is liberating to not have to worry about soccer practices, etc.). We then planned to have a fancy dinner at the popular new gastro-pub place. But, after the cocktail bar, I felt a bit off, and not too perky, so we ended up getting take-out pizza and going home afterwards. Not an epic fail, but also not the night on the town we had expected, although there was "dessert" afterwards, so that's a bonus! (nudge, nudge, wink, wink). No, it wasn't on the kitchen floor. Sorry, too much TMI?
Spontaneity doesn't have to be a huge, expensive gesture. It can be as simple as going out to eat on weeknight at a dimly light restaurant and splurging on a great cocktail. Enjoy the summer weather with a spontaneous picnic (just grab sandwiches & noshes from the local deli and go to a nearby lake or park! No fuss or muss). Or surprise your spouse with a small token of appreciation (their favorite dessert, champagne, flowers, take out from their favorite restaurant for a fancy meal at home). Heck, it could be as simple as waking your spouse a bit early to have a leisurely full breakfast together in the morning before work, instead of grabbing your yogurt and coffee and running out the door.
It may not be a trip to Rome, but bringing a little spice and spontaneity to a long work day can really help to energize your marriage and life and make those days that you must tackle reality and responsibilities a little less painful.
